Saturday, May 30, 2009

Alcohol! Number One! Drug Killer Troublemaker!


Evidently, alcohol also renders you incapable of composing real sentences.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Two Recommendations

1 - If you're in LA, you must check out Point Break Live! If you've never seen the movie Point Break, stop reading this and go hit yourself in the face 300 times. Because you're an idiot.

If you HAVE seen the movie Point Break, check out this show. It's exactly what you think it is....the movie Point Break, but live. In an homage to Keanu's unparalleled acting skills, Johnny Utah is portrayed by a different audience member every night.

I went with 10 of my friends last Friday, and to our surprise, Gary Busey was attending that same evening. He shot us all with a super soaker as we laughed, but also silently feared that he might snap, and start throwing live grenades into our beers.

2- Unrelated, but if you can still find the movie Obsessed in theaters, do not miss out. It will knock your socks off. I shamelessly enjoy this genre of movies: bad thrillers aimed at a female audience. (Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Sleeping with the Enemy, Red Eye, etc). The cinematic formula of the lady-thriller does not disappoint. Awful, and awesome, all at once.

Seriously, guys. Obsessed? Total awesomeness.

I was worried that the irony would fly right over the heads of Los Angeles movie goers, but after the first giggle from the audience, we all knew we were on board.

Flawless.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Advice

Joan Rivers is one of the nicest people to work with. She's professional, generous and hilarious. Here are three things she once told me that stuck with me:

"You'll do fine. You're a woman in comedy."

"It's lonely on the road. That's different for a man."

"The smartest thing I ever did was wait until I hit to get married."

After that last one, she gave me a box of this.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Road Trip

Last week I drove across the country. I'm not one for cars in general, but since I bought my very first car THIS YEAR, I figured my carbon footprint has been small enough to warrant me enough credits to take a road trip or two.

And it was so fun! We saw the Natural Bridge in Virginia, line danced in Nashville, went to Graceland, saw an old friend in Santa Fe, walked into the Grand Canyon, stopped along historic Route 66, and ate lots and lots of unhealthy food. We even visited Harley and Annabelle in Oklahoma, who offered us a beer, gave us life advice, and asked us to take a photo with them in their bed.

If you're planning on doing the trip anytime, I highly recommend www.roadsideamerica.com
Whenever you're in the mood to see something random, just type in the town you're in, and a few options will come up. Unlike a lot of other sites (ahem, Blogspot), this one is flawless on a Blackberry.

Overall, it was an awesome time.
Here's a convo from our trip:

Me: The news said there's a tornado warning in effect.

Alex: I'm sure there's not going to be a tornado.

Me: But look how windy it is!

Alex: Don't worry. There's NOT going to be a tornado.

Me: Are you sure?

Alex: Yes.

(pause)

Alex: Oh shit.

Me: What?

Alex: A Tornado Chaser van just pulled up next to us.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Earthquaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!

I always wondered where I'd be during my first earthquake. When I moved to LA, I inspected my new apartment to keep tabs on any pictures, frames, or vases that could possibly fall and hurt Dignan. I pictured it happening in the middle of the night, waking me up with confusion and fear.

I openly hoped it'd be a little one, so I would know that my dog would be safe.
I secretly hoped it'd be a big one, so people would get scared, leave California, and I could buy a house in Los Feliz immediately after for dirt cheap.

Yesterday, I was at my friend Juliet's house after we got back from a super fun barbeque in Venice. We were watching a rerun of Top Model and reading one of those books that tells you about the type of person you are based on your birthday (I'm a "nonconformist").

All of a sudden, the window started to shake. At first, I thought a garbage truck was driving by. My friend jumped up and yelled, "Oh my God!" I thought maybe she had dropped her phone, or realized that she had forgotten to mail her rent check. But, by the time she said "Oh My God" again the sound had gotten really loud, and I realized "THAT IS NOT A GARBAGE TRUCK. HOLY SHIT. THIS IS A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE."

What was funny was how Juliet and I reacted in the same way. We both kept saying "Oh My God" as we slowly walked towards each other, clasped hands, walked to a doorway, and sat on the floor. All the while looking at each other, half freaking out, and half laughing.

I was so glad I was with a friend at that moment. It was a straight up 5.0. Not devastating at all, but substantial enough for a first timer. And honestly, kind of fun.

Wowsers. Welcome to LA!

Tell me about your first time....

Thursday, May 7, 2009

My Secret

For some reason, I own a book called "SAT Math." I did not own it in high school. This is something I bought recently.

When I'm alone, I read it and remember how much I used to like right triangles and line segments.

I feel guilty and ashamed, and I just had to tell someone.

Dignan Stole My Camera And Made A Ransom Video For My Friend

video

Nice to Meet You. My Name is Dr. Giggles.

Super fun.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Eddie Van Halen and Mark Slaughter

My friend just sent me this convo she had at the grocery store. She was wearing a Bon Jovi shirt:

Cashier: Wow, Bon Jovi

Me: Yeah

Cashier: I had a friend who loved the guy from that band... what was his name?...

Me: Richie Sambora?

Cashier: No ... um..........................................................

Me: Jon Bon Jovi?

Cashier: Yes! That's his name!

Me: (blank stare)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Yeah! YEAH! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

What the Fuck is Going On?




I thought this was a joke when I saw it.

It is not.

Jerry O'Connell, do you need to borrow some money, bro?

Friday, May 1, 2009

FEAR!



Just to clarify, your chances of getting the Swine Flu are currently about 1 in 2,220,119. Also, every American who has gotten it has lived.

BUT MAKE SURE YOU PANIC!!!!!!

Mayne Man

Guys! For those of you who care, we are shooting a second "season" of the Emmy-nominated (for real) ESPN web series, Mayne Street. I think they're going to be rolled out at the end of this month.

I'm psyched with the response from this show. I can't believe how many people have come up to me on the street and said how much they love this web series!

Thanks so much for watching!

Check out old Mayne Streets here.

(This shameless promotion has nothing to do with the fact that ESPN just gave the whole cast free HD Flip Cameras. Well, maybe a little.....)