Friday, January 30, 2009

From A to Z Rock!

Let's face it: getting a show on TV isn't that impressive anymore.

Heck, they give TV shows to just about ANYONE these days.

But, when a show gets picked up for a second season? Then, you might be on to something...

Get ready, Z Rock fans! Season Two is on its way!

For those who have been asking....We start filming next week. I just visited the production office, and everything is in full swing. The boys are back from the road, and everyone is psyched. It's a great group of people to work with, and we have so much fun making this show.

If you haven't seen it, check out the full first season on iTunes, or in reruns on IFC. And stay tuned for Season Two!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A Grave Mistake

It was with a sudden wave of regret that Thomas "The Human Pretzel" Milesworth realized his mistake. If only he had spent those long years of practice and stretching exercises to contort his body in the OTHER direction, where a much more beneficial and "self-rewarding" position would have arisen.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Mind Fuck

If you think it's shocking to see a "statue" that suddenly comes to life as you realize it's a street performer, you should see how it feels to see a "street performer" that you suddenly realize is a statue.


I am not ignoring you on Facebook.

I am not hiding from you, either.

I am simply NOT ON FACEBOOK.

That's right.

I don't think it's a useless tool, and I don't think I'm above it. I just think that - for me personally - I'm more productive without the lure of another procrastination feeder. I just thought I'd explain because I often find myself defending "my situation" in the social arena.

So let's stop ostracizing people for their sex, the color of their skin, or the fact that they haven't created an account on a social networking site.

Is there anyone else out there? Or am I all alone?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Master Plan

If I were an old person, and I won one of those scratch-off "$1000 A Week For Life" games, I would totally find a young person (like, for example, me) and cut a deal with her.

I'd give that person (for example, me) the ticket to cash in. Then I'd ask her (for example, me) to pay me $1100 each week until I die. When I do die, she (I) could continue to keep the $1000 each week.

That way, I get more money each week than I won, and the young person (me) still makes a profit in the end, assuming that she (I) doesn't die young.

Think about it. If I were very old, and lived - let's say - for another 10 years, the young person (me) would rack up about $52,000 in debt in those 10 years by paying me the extra $100 a week. BUT, she'd (I'd) earn that $52,000 back in only one year.

And, from then on, she (I) would be set for life!


Saturday, January 24, 2009


My friend and I were just talking about how attractive it is when a guy knows how to email in a sweet, grammatically correct and properly punctuated way.

It's amazing how much it can change your perception of a person.

Here's an example:

"I think you're great. I'm psyched to see you again." = SEXY.

"I think your great. I'm siked to see you again." = NOT SEXY.

Seriously. How do you not know how to spell these words? Did you leave school after the 5th grade?

I bet there's no chapter on that in "The Game."

But there should be.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

We're Back!

LOST is back!

Check it!

Happens In 3s

TUESDAY: An 8-year national nightmare ends. A ray of hope shines on us all.

WEDNESDAY: ABC airs a two-hour season premiere of the best show on television.

THURSDAY: Who knows? But, I'm definitely buying a lottery ticket and cold calling Spielberg, Apatow and JJ Abrams.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Why Do We Love Pain?

Rob Shocks Himself from alison becker on Vimeo.

This thing hurts way more than you think it's going to. Trust me.

Team Apartment!

Let's go, Team!

I just got back from 4 days in LA. I busted my ass each day looking at apartments and I could not find one that was both good and safe.

Please stay on the lookout for awesome apartments in Los Angeles that allow small dogs, and pass the info to
I'd appreciate it!

Here's what I'm looking for:
-one bedroom/one bath OR two bedroom/two bath
-hardwood floors
-laundry on site
-any area...but i like Hollywood, West Hollywood, Los Feliz, and Hancock Park/Miracle Mile
-someplace where I won't get raped
-just gonna reiterate the rape thing. That would be really great if it were rape-free.

Ski Pants

It's effing freezing today in New York City. I've decided that it's cold enough to walk around town in snow pants.

So, that's what I did today.

And, if you think I look un-cute and silly.....guess what?
I don't want to have sex with you anyway.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Miracle Berry

Has anyone else heard about this? It's a rare berry that you eat, and it alters your taste buds temporarily. For about an hour, anything you eat (lemons, vinegar, grapefruit, etc) tastes incredibly sweet. Supposedly, it's pretty bonkers.

The berries are hard to come by. You can have them shipped, but they are very perishable, and I'm trying to find someone who sells them in New York so I can throw a miracle berry party. Please let me know if you hear of any place that has them.


Audi 5000

This week is my last week hosting the Vh1 Top 20 Video Countdown. I just wanted to sincerely thank everyone at Vh1 and on the Top 20 team for such fun times.

Thanks to everyone who watched, too!

It's been great, but I've decided that it's time to officially move out West, which means no more Top 20 for me.

So, wish me luck in Hollywood. I hear it's where dreams come true.