Friday, March 21, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Super Last Minute

I will appear on the Colbert Report tonight!

I will also be performing stand-up at Broadway Comedy Club tonight at 9pm. Please come by and laugh a lot.

Two places at once? What is this, LOST?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Green Green Green

I am helping out with this.
If you know any kids under 18, have them submit their green ideas.

And I won't even ask why you're hanging out with kids under 18.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Date Old Prudes

There's a recent study that's all over the news about STDs in high school girls.

Evidently, one in four high school girls has a sexually transmitted disease. This is way up from the stats when, say, our parents were in high school, and even way up from when I was in high school.

So, I'm thinking, the younger the people you date are, the more likely you are to sleep with someone who has an STD (and keep in mind that most people who have common STDS do NOT even know that they do!)

However, the older the people you date are, the more partners that person is likely to have had. So, their chances of having an STD may be higher.

Therefore, the best conclusion, I've realized, is to date older prudes.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My Friends Are Smarter Than Your Friends.

There aren't many shows on tv that don't make you dumber as you watch them. But Jeopardy is one that even makes you smarter. And it's even more worthwhile to watch tonight, because my friend (and former fellow UCB comedy troupe member) Will McLaughlin, will be a contestant!
Watch and root for him!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Winner


Even if I had no idea who these people were, and I saw this picture in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest, my entry would still be "Oops, I slept with a prostitute and my wife is PISSED."

This Was Said to Me Today

"Sorry, Snoop is running late because he wanted to catch the end of Flavor of Love."

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Great Find

I was trying to find a better version of this clip of Billie Joe singing my favorite Elvis Costello song.

And I stumbled upon this cinematic masterpiece.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Even the Press Thinks I'm Jewish

As a comedian in New York with many Jewish pals, a lot of people assume that I'm Jewish too.

But I'm actually not.

And now, it's getting weird. Even Variety is putting me in Jewish roles that I never played.

(I was actually the non-Jewish Long Island girl in this film.)

Maybe I'll convert and get my pic in the trades more. Word!

Coffee Talk

My friend Lonny always dares me to say "Thanks a latte!" when you pick up your drink at Starbucks.

I've tried it several times.

...And have realized that it's impossible to do without sounding really, really sarcastic.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Vanity Hierarchy

You know you've made it when you stop googling yourself.

But then you backtrack when you start searching for yourself on gettyimages instead.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Taking a Nap On Set

I really love those moments when you're taking a nap in an upstairs bedroom, and you're half asleep, and you might be dreaming, and you hear something really weird and random in your dream...like Gilbert Gottfried's odd and distant voice.

Then you remember that Gilbert's downstairs and you're in a house shooting a tv show with him.

_________
"Z Rock" premieres on IFC this fall.
Get ready.

Monday, March 3, 2008

No. For Real. Which One Is It?

Did Cadbury Eggs get smaller?

Or did I just get bigger?