Sunday, July 13, 2008

Another Open Letter to the SureType/T9 Function on My Blackberry

Dear SureType/T9 Function,

I'm sorry.

In reference to the last letter I sent you, I realize that I spoke - or rather, wrote - too hastily.

Today I was responding to a friend's email, and when I tried to input the ubiquitous word "fucking," you, as always, offered alternate suggestions. In the past, I have mocked your "ducking" suggestion, dismissing it as uninformed and useless.

And, I'm sorry. Because today you made a suggestion that is so brilliant, I'd like to retract my previous complaints.

Here it is:

DICKING.

What a great word! When used in moments of frustration or mild anger, it takes the place of "fucking" in such an unexpected yet appropriate way. Notice:

"That dicking club kid is the worst."
"I hate my dicking job."
"That dicking girl needs to realize that the world does not revolve around her."

T9, you are a wordsmith! You are a visionary!

If I were one of those suckers who read the The Tipping Point a few years ago, I'm sure I'd call you something like a connector or a maven.

In any case, I'm sorry I doubted you.

You're the dicking best.

Love,
Alison

4 comments:

thursday31190 said...

this is the best

thursday31190 said...

but this is a great insite into whats always on your mind!

Sean said...

I've tried T9 (after having a full keyboard) and I could not get it!


Once you go qwerty you never go back.

Anonymous said...

no, YOU'RE the dicking best!