Sunday, July 29, 2007

I Know I've Been in New York Too Long...

....when a woman I don't know smiles at me, and I immediately assume she is either crazy, or a lesbian.

OR, she is a crazy lesbian. And, NOBODY wants that. Trust me...There was this one time, back in the 80s, in Ibiza...well, nevermind.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Sunday, July 22, 2007

My Favorite Joke That I Have Ever Written

Where in the world IS Carmen San Diego?

I don't know...but someone should REALLY check San Diego.*




*(I wrote this joke so many years ago, but it still makes me giggle.)

Monday, July 16, 2007

Priorities

When I got the HPV vaccination - which prevents against a virus that can cause some types of STDs and cancers - my first thought SHOULD have been:
"Hooray! Now I won't ever get cervical cancer!"

But, instead, it was:
"Hooray! Now I won't ever get genital warts!"

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Monday, July 9, 2007

I Am Not a Crazy Dog Lady

The love of my life almost died on Saturday.

My dog, Dignan, has been in the ICU for 3 days. It's been one of the hardest weekends ever, filled with lots of tears. Hopefully, he will be coming home soon.

Thankfully, there is good news that came out of this. For the past 2 years, I have become pretty certain that I have one of the most awesome dogs on the planet. He's supercute and supersmart. But then, I started to worry that maybe this was a false perception that I had. "Uh-oh," I thought. "Is this dog really that awesome, or am I Crazy Dog Lady?"

But, since Digs has been sick, he has received phone calls, emails, texts, flowers, and even several visits to the animal hospital from so many friends who keep telling me how awesome he is.

So now, I'm pretty sure I'm not crazy.

Unless, of course, all of my friends are crazy, too.

....Uh-oh.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

You Know the Dresses You're Wearing Are Too Short When...

....the guy at the dry cleaners puts them in the computer as "blouses."